Just for fun- my day in faces!

But sometimes she falls down...

iStruggle.

I am in one of the oddest places of my life. At a point of my life where I should be glowing with happiness and a sense of achievement, I am feeling more lifeless than I ever have. It all began with a slap in the face from a lady I spent 36 hours + of my time volunteering for. Though my instructor defended me, and made it clear that I should not let it get to me, I did. For a week it complete weighed on me almost every waking hour. I just could not stop being mad at myself, and being so frustrated with her.

Then I graduated. I honestly didn't want to be there for the most of it. I have just felt sooo aloof and overwhelmed with the lack of challenge and structure in my life post graduation. The job market has been tough, and disappointing.

I have caught myself being so numb and detached from what matters in life lately. It is beginning to break me a bit. I have caught myself thinking heartless replies to things. For a random example. I nearly said to someone the other day "Yeah, because clearly, continuing to use her is the best solution..." After thinking it I couldn't believe myself. Who have I become? Who did I think I was? I clearly have failed my mission to love and be the light of Christ to the world the past few weeks. The last thing I needed to be doing was harshly judging someone else's circumstance.

I need to buck up. I need to face the music of my negativity. I need to get it together. I need to re-focus, re-prioritize. Clean up the baggage. De-clutter. And STUDY!

Psalm 51 has truly challenged my heart this week. My best friend from high school, that recently (within the past few years) has decided to follow Christ, and I are starting an online Bible discussion. I need it badly. Yesterday we dissected James 3:9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.

Wow. Do I need work!