Open Letter to "The Power Couple" at the gym...

To "The Power Couple":

I couldn't help but notice the interactions between you both as you ferociously hit equipment station after station near me the other night. and with each move my heart sank a little deeper for both of you. You see... I used to be there... I used to allow verbal hit after hit to my soul from someone that "loved" me. I wasted YEARS of my life letting him tell me that I couldn't, that I wasn't enough, and couldn't get it right. It wasn't just what I (and let's be real, all of us in there) witnessed that really broke me, it's what goes on behind closed doors that I know to be much more soul crushing. If he's willing to say those things to you in public, then she's hearing more within the walls of the "home." Sweetheart, if he's not put a ring on it, please don't wish him to... it won't change a thing, in fact, instead of him giving you something, you'll actually be handing over more of yourself than you will ever get back, ever recover. YOU DESERVE MORE, YOU are WORTH MORE. YOU MATTER. YOU ARE STUNNING & BEAUTIFUL, and have an incredible PURPOSE. A purpose that extends exponentially beyond than how many reps you're able to do, or how fast you can go to try to keep up with your "gazelle" man (who appears to be attempting to defeat gravity in order to take flight off the elliptical).
My heart breaks for you too though, dude. Whoever, wherever, you were taught that treating a lady like that was acceptable... Dead wrong. It's cost you both to miss out on the most incredible gift in this life- Love. A love that includes mutual respect and using the power of prayer to become a true "Power Couple." Where "Building an Empire" is allowing that power to humble, mold, stretch, and grow you both, (together and individually) into strong individuals with GREAT impact. Pushing each other is a great thing- when it's done out of love, respect, and gentleness. I know it's possible- my husband and I practice it often- and reap out-of-this-world benefits. Together you could build each other up to be more than you could ever be alone. Words of admiration and not destruction go a long way.
Lastly, thank you, thank you for allowing me to once again realize what a blessing my husband is to me, and giving me a reminder to tell him when I got home!


Respectfully,

b. Rose

Give Him Home: What guys really need.

This topic has been pressing hard on my heart for a while now, but I never took the time to write. It has become apparent to me that I have failed. That many of us ladies have failed. Loving a man, is actually quite simple. Since last fall, I've learned a lot about gentlemen that never really dawned on me before now. I made a commitment to myself that upon joining the single world I would not be out seeking love, or a man, for that matter. I believe that love finds us, but that's another post, and neither here nor there. I had many friendzoned gentleman tell me things like "with you I can just be myself" and I admittedly sort of blew it off... and secretly rolled my eyes... "oh, another line I've heard before" was my only thought. I failed to learn from it, a huge lesson in life. In fact, when love found me I put some things out there about my standards hoping would be a "love repellent" of sorts. Needless to say, that was a fail, and I'm so glad it was. Turns out, true gentleman, and at the core, all guys, really, just need us lady people to give them "home". Not necessarily a physical place. But a place where they can strip down their many facades and be comfortable. Throw out role fatigue, and not have to try to impress anyone. They need to be able to bear their deep stuff and know that it stays with us, that it's safe, that we're not going anywhere. (...And if you are anyone of my past that found this, your "stuff" is still that, safe. Regardless of whatever became of "us".) That part wasn't that hard for me to digest, because I appreciate and desire respect, and would want to give anyone that ever had that place in my life, no less. Rather the rest of the world agrees or not, they deserve that.


But- there's a part of me that failed this. I blew it. Many times over. Got this very wrong. In being their safe place- we also need to bring that warmth, that peace, and create that inviting place to be, an enjoyable place to crash into come whatever what may. For Pete's sake, spoil him. Never give this up. He isn't always going to "earn it", and you know what?? NEITHER will you. SO, if he's hungry? FEED him. Clothes dirty? WASH them. Had a long day? RUB his back/neck and give him love and affection. He's stressed? DON'T PRY, NO NAGGING. PRAY for him. There's NOTHING wrong with "spoiling" your man. Lay down your insignificant wants to meet his NEEDS. Do it all with joy. Knowing that being able to care for a good man, is a privilege and honor, not a chore. Not something to take for granted. You could easily be alone, on your own. You don't own him, or his place in your life. He shouldn't have to tell you what he needs, we should be aware. Our job is to give him a peaceful, happy, soft, warm, & cozy place to land at the end of the day. Be silly. Laugh. But, most of all LOVE, BE present. Not preoccupied. Not on your phone. Not constantly busy, busy, busy. Not snarky, not short and snappy, not cold. Forget that hard to get, snarky, hard hearted crap the world tells us the good guys want these days. Give heart. The good ones still want it, and the others need it. Flirt for fun. Find out what makes him secure, what makes him happy, and commit to giving that every chance you get. Support him, regardless if you're "feeling it," or you think he "earned it". Create that non critical, non judgemental, to-do list free, safe zone. That's what he really needs. The world presses harshly on him all the time. He simply needs to know he doesn't have to be perfect, and you're still going to be there to listen to, laugh with, and love him, regardless.

Why I am my Godmate and not my Soulmate...or my Prince Charming...Knight in Shining Armor

...to be continued.

Glory to God Forever - Fee

Doesn't happen over night, but you turn around and a months gone by, And you realize you haven't cried. I'm busy getting stronger.

...From the Inside Out, Lord, My Soul Cries Out.....

You GLORY Goes Beyond All Things; Your LIGHT will Shine When ALL Else Fades



Dear God,

      I thank you that when the world is trying to steal away my joy... To feed me full of the lies that you have conquered in my life...that you are still there...to love and hold me close...All I have to do is turn to you. God when people have misconceptions of my heart, spread, hear, and believe lies, Lord, that YOU ARE TRUTH. God, I ask that you help me to see myself as the new creation that You have created...not who I was...but who I am and will be in you..with your Grace and your power in my life. I ask that you strip my life of the bitterness, pain, shame, doubt, darkness, and fear that tries to have a hold on my life, Lord. I know that you have called me to more in this life, help me to cling to you in times of trial. God I pray for my family as there are things ahead that none of us are prepared to face. Allow me to love on those that need it, and speak when needed, but also to be silent when it is time. For I know you have us all in the palm of your hand, I just ask that you break his heart for what breaks yours and help him to surrender to you. Let him know that it is NEVER TOO LATE.



In your name I pray,



Amen.

I @#$%&! hate this life. My life. Only a tunnel of darkness looms. Nothing can get better it seems. I've lost my light and my dreams. All of the things that gave me life have seemed to fade into the darkness. Hope is hiding. How do I go on from here? I feel like my life is constant sacrifice... And to move anywhere but here requires even more. Where did I go so wrong to deserve a life so bleek so full of empty? Empty promises...dreams...goals...compliments...intentions..prayers...

Dear you, Tonight my heart hurts. So deeply. I'm wondering if yours does too. I wish I knew what the future looked like. I wish I knew it could be better than this. A day where dreams are not just dreams. Where they have life breathed into them again. The day when I don't have guard every word and action while walking on egg shells. I want to love with all that I've had stored up. I want to create and give life to something incredibly precious and grow closer to Jesus everyday in that process. I want to live out my life speaking LOVE so loudly that our little never has to question if they were wanted. That they will go to sleep and wake up every day of their life knowing that they were fought for, wanted, desired, prayed for, longed for, and loved ever before they were created. That they will know Jesus wants to love them even more than we ever could- and that's a whole bunch! I see maternity outfits and get butterflies thinking of the day I can fit into one. I hope that brings you more joy than fear. i hope i'm enough. I hope we laugh forever and fall more in love through the crazy processes of life. I hope I never become less than you desire, and that when we're old and have seen a couple generations through, that you will still hold my hand and our eyes will still speak things of the heart that the mouth simply can't. I hope you know I pray for you and will every single day for the rest of our lives. I HE gives us both the purity and the patience to wait out this storm, and when the time is perfect in {His will} that we can discover each other completely and know without a shadow of doubt. ...And then life truly begins. Love, bRose

I go to sleep every night hoping...

That I wake up the next day and this feeling of living someone else's life is all just a bad dream. Where did my dreams go? Do they even matter any more?

Please Don't Ask

I get it. I know we just passed 4 years. The "pursuit of happiness checklist" says Get married. check. Buy house. Check. Adopt furbabies. Check. Have babies. Open space. But you probably have no idea what that side bar of open space entails. I'm just going to be frank and say that not only am I tired of hearing it, I'm truly not sure how much longer my heart can handle the obligatory, "Not yet. We have some other things we would like to accomplish first." Then it sinks and silently cries, "probably never." Bless my sweet patients for trying to make conversation, but I would much rather talk about them and usually quickly reroute conversation. The fair's approaching and as excited as I am, I'm considering taping my answer to that question and just pushing play so that I can avoid the reminder. On the other hand, it's absolutely exhausting attempting to avoid some social situations to avoid the questions. No I don't really want to talk about why. No none of my lady parts are broken (that I am aware of). Nor his parts.